Wednesday, April 21, 2010

How to Avoid a Bad Playdate...Be on the Lookout for the Following Moms

Just when you thought the nightmares of dating during your single years where behind you, you meet Mr. Right, have a baby and begin a whole new level of dating. What I am talking about is commonly referred to as the "Play date", typically when two moms and their respective children get together to serve a dual purpose, kids get to interact, socialize and play, but more importantly moms get to hangout and enjoy the company of another adult.

Little did I know that play dates would be even more difficult than my years of dating when I was a singleton. I found an amazing article on, where the author nails the entire "Play dating" experience perfectly. "You know how it goes: love the mom, but her spawn has surely sprung from Satan’s loins -- or conversely, you adore the child but his mom is so insufferable you can’t believe they’re from the same toxic gene pool." I also agree with the author when she comments, "Play dating is also more painful than dating, because all the imagined slights or rejections are magnified when your precious child is involved -- and therefore, taken all the more personally."

Having said all this below, is a list of moms to look out for when getting involved with play dates. Thanks for this amazing cheat sheet. With this new insight, hopefully you can avoid getting into a play date situation you simply can't get yourself or your little one out of. Enjoy!

1. The Drop & Go Mom: This mom is not looking to build any type of lasting relationship, rather she is looking for a place to unload her kids for a few hours. It may go something like this," The kids are getting along so well, would you mind if I ran a quick errand?" You reluctantly agree only to have her come back 2 1/2 hours later with a fresh mani/pedi. (ARGGGHHH!)
2. The Loiterer Mom : Basically this is the mom that is so starved for adult interactions, she does just this. Loiter that is. You may start by sending subtle hints that you and your little one need to get going, but they only seem to fall on deaf ears. Before you know it is past dinner time, and you are wishing you had presidential security detail to escort you away from this woman.
3. The "Baby Call" Mom: Back in the single days this was referred to as the "Booty Call", but now that I am married, a mom, and have a baby it has now evolved into the "Baby Call". You know this mom, she is the one that calls without warning, and always at the worst time (usually the late afternoon). She is bored and looking for a good time (for her kid that is). You always wish you had the nerve to say no to the "Baby Call" mom, and afterwards you feel used and hate yourself for being so weak.
4. The Stalker Mom: No, I did not say "Soccer" mom, I said "Stalker" mom. This is the mom that becomes obsessed by the company of you and your child. Yes, creepy, I know. She is very hard to shake off and despite countless lame excuses, and multiple refusals she just doesn't take no for an answer. Basically if you find yourself screening calls, avoiding playgrounds and other places she might frequent, you may have a "Stalker" mom on your hands. Good luck with this one, because you'll need it.
5. The Bad Girl/ Crazy Mom: She is the unconventional mom who initially is super alluring. She is fearless and seems to have a handle on everything. She is so fearless that she has no conscious about calling out other moms on the playground, and other confrontational acts. You soon realize the initial cool factor is just good old-fashioned narcissism, and in true fashion, she flakes out on play dates at the last second, and doesn't call when she says she will.
6. The Nice Mom(aka June Cleaver): This mom is nice to everyone (in most situations). She keeps a lovely home, and her children seem to be near perfect. She makes lunch and snacks from scratch, and is always perky and sweet (I would be too if I had Lithium sprinkled in my morning coffee). The trade off is that the nice mom is boring to be around, and never shares gossip because it's just not the nice thing to do.
7. The Swinger Mom: Again like the Bad Girl/ Crazy mom the swinger mom just can't commit. In fact play dates are group encounters. If you are looking for a mom to grab coffee with and chat, keep looking this isn't the mom for you. But if you're up for kids running all through your house, followed by a sea of toys, goldfish crumbs, and sippy cups then she may just be the mom for you.

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