Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Unofficial Initiation into Motherhood... The Adventures of Pooh-Casso

As all of you who follow my blog know I am a mom to an adorable toddler who we have nicknamed, Chickpea. Well that nickname has now changed until further notice to Pooh-Casso. No, I did not say Picasso, the famous Spanish artist from Madrid that introduced the world to "cubism", I said Pooh-Casso (emphasizing the Pooh). So you may be wondering, "Why the name change"? I’ll tell you, but before I do, I must warn you this story is not for the faint hearted.

So it was last Wednesday, a typical afternoon in our home. I had put Chickpea (aka Pooh-Casso) down for her afternoon nap. I assumed my normal routine while she slept. I would say it was about two hours later, when I heard Chickpea over the monitor. I started my trek up the stairs to her room not thinking anything was out of the ordinary. I could not have been more wrong!

As I grabbed the doorknob to open the door to Chickpea's room, it did not take long to figure out I was in for one of the more shocking experiences I have had to date. There she was in all her fecal glory. Yes, my sweet, innocent, little girl was covered in poop and loving every minute of it. Not only was she covered in poop it seemed like everything within a 10 foot radius was covered in poop. Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit, but it was like wall to wall shit. So as my sweet little girl reached up her hands for me to pick her up out of the crib I had to go into full on HASMAT mode. I thought to myself, "Where do I start?”

As I slowly began to triage this crappy disaster, I remember telling myself "Don't make a big deal out of this, all kids do this." I could not believe how much pooh I was dealing with. Pooh all over the kid, pooh all over the crib, pooh on the floor I am surprised there was not pooh on the ceiling (although I think she tried). It looked as if Chickpea got into a full on wrestling match with a chocolate cake (that will cure those chocolate cravings for sure) All I can say is thank God the dog was not home that day, he would have thought it was an all you can eat hot food bar for Labrador Retrievers.

So after spending close to two hours cleaning, disinfecting, washing laundry, and making up her crib I call my sister for some advice on this situation. See my niece Margaux pulled the same stunt on my sister about a year ago. When my sister heard what Chickpea had done she started laughing hysterically, then in her twisted way she asked if I took any pictures and commented this would be great for the blog. Don't worry, taking photos of this disaster was the furthers thing from my mind. After she got through her laughter, she congratulated me on my official initiation into motherhood. I then asked what I could do to prevent this from happening again. Like a great sister, she gave me some great practical advice. She told me that this is a thing that most kids her age do, and that it is part of the whole exploration experience, and not to make a big deal out of it. My sister also advised that I would need to prevent her from getting to her diaper, and to put her in a onsie or place diaper cover over her pamper.

Well I am happy to report that her advice worked and we have been pooh free since. After looking back on what happened last week, it made me realize a few things:

1. You have to exercise a vast amount of patients with your children

2. You cannot have a week stomach

3. You must resist the urge to over react to situations

4. You must be able to find the humor in even the darkest of situations

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